Earplugs

Earplugs. There is the chance of noise pollution on a ship that may interfere with you having a good time on your cruise. Creaky cabins; noisy neighbours; crew moving stuff about early and later; loo-flushing; air-conditioning; waves against the side of the ship and being too near the inner workings of the ship or the entertainment areas are just some of the possible problem areas. Your earplugs will go a long way to making sure you have a good night’s sleep or nap. The gel ones or the ones made of foam are the best to use. The wax ones tend to be a little uncomfortable. Experiment at home with them a few days before you travel to see which suit you best.

Who To Avoid on a Cruise Ship

On a cruise, you will likely meet people from other countries and other cultures: old and young alike. On longer cruises, camaraderie develops and you can’t wait to all meet up.

But you get the odd one or two who are determined not to have a good time. The Moaning Minnies. Here is how you can usually spot them…

Avoid the following people.

They generally sit next to you uninvited or perhaps at breakfast and will almost certainly ask the following question…

“What do you think of the ship?” 

A klaxon should sound in your head and you should get the heck out of there ASAP for what they really want to do is tell you what they think of the ship and it’s usually not favourable.

We have been on some fabulous ships which anyone would normally be really grateful to have the chance to travel on but we have encountered these Moaning Minnies who, once they have cornered you, proceed to criticize everything about the ship from the décor to the carpets; from the crew to the standard of the food which on one memorable occasion included the comment “The bacon on here isn’t as crisp as it is on the Oriana”.

Another question you should never respond to is…

“How much did you pay for this cruise?”

Uh Oh! That’s a no-no. If you paid half what they did, they will be scandalized and give you an earbashing but if they paid half of what you did, they’ll delight in telling you all about it and what great deals So and So Cruise Agency always give them – indeed they are on first name terms with the boss there.

 So keep an ear open for those two key phrases!

Upselling

When onboard, beware of “upselling”.

This is the practice by a waiter (on commission) of trying to make you spend more money and attempting to influence your choice of drink by asking if you want a certain brand (usually the most expensive) or asking if you want doubles.

This may be done when you are in a group of friends and the waiter is relying on you not wanting to look a cheapskate by going for singles or the cheapest spirit on offer. Look at the drinks list beforehand and specify immediately the brand you want.

On one cruise we did, the waiter kept insisting we have doubles and a quiet word was had with the bar manager.

Tips

A few tips for Newbies:

·        If your cases are taking up too much room in your cabin or they won't fit under the bed, ask your steward to stow them away for you.

·        If you want to book a spa session, book early but be warned: they are expensive. If you want to pay a little less, look out for the special offers on port days when most people will be ashore.

·        Don’t bother buying the cruise video. It’s expensive and you’ll probably only be on it for a split second waving drunkenly at the camera. When you get home, you will probably only watch it once or bore the backsides off friends and neighbours with it. Do them a favour and save your money.

·        On the last night of the cruise, take the hangers out of the wardrobes and put them somewhere under a cushion. Because there won’t be any clothes on them, they will bang together and sound like the Bells of St. Mary’s all night!

Cruising. What's your style?

If you haven't cruised before, you will have to decide what style of cruiser you are.

This will depend on (a) the amount you want to spend and (b) whether you are single, married, partnered, or with children.

Don’t worry: everyone is catered for and I mean everyone.

Singles can book single cabins (at a premium, although sometimes they are available at the going rate). There are Singles Meetups onboard and it isn’t too hard to get chatting to other singles in the convivial atmosphere of a cruise ship, whether it be at dinner or on the dance floor.

Families can take advantage of the “kids go free” offers or the 3rd and 4th cabin occupancy discounts. The children have their own clubs, discos, eating places and scores of activities ranging from talent shows and games to artistic activities and games. It’s common never to see your children for hours on end because they are enjoying themselves so much mixing with other kids of their own age and the Youth Team do a superb job in supervising and arranging activities.

There is even a baby-listening or babysitting service on many ships giving you the chance to have a well-earned break at dinner or a top class show.

Gay cruisers sometimes get the chance to meet others too when the “Friends of Dorothy” have special meetings in some cosy lounge – as do Masons, Rotarians and other special interest groups.

There are specific cruise lines for older passengers, notably Saga in the UK who only accept over 50’s.

Longer cruises usually have older passengers because they are generally the ones who can afford them and have the time available.

The 2 or 3 day ones generally suit the younger, boozier party crowd. Some ships even have alternative type Comedy Clubs where strong language is employed.

If you want to lounge by the pool without being assailed by noisy kids splashing and shouting, go on a child-free adults-only ship. Your TA (Travel Agent) or a guide such as the Berlitz Cruise Ship guide will advise